


Garie Hates Christmas Noise

by Greendess



Category: Senki Zesshou Symphogear
Genre: Christmas, Comedy, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 22:06:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5515040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greendess/pseuds/Greendess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garie tries to find a way to ruin Micha's Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Garie Hates Christmas Noise

Every year, as the seasons changed and the atmosphere of the Chatteau de Tiffauges became more jolly, one of its residents changed to just the opposite.

Garie hated Christmas, but not for the season itself. She hated the happiness it brought Micha. Every year, Micha would spend the entire month making incessant noise singing songs and not shutting up talking with Leiur and Phara about what she wanted or what she should get for them.

For some peace and quiet, as well as a chance to get under Micha’s skin, Garie had gone through many strategies.

The first was to get Micha to work on the tree, with her fingers it would be an impossible task. Even though that year resulted in a disaster of decorations, Leiur taught her a “flashy” use of her talents, and every year Micha started a tradition of making ice sculptures. The end result was that Micha would bother Garie even more in the season, constantly asking for large chunks of ice.

Her next plan was to ruin the materials for Micha. Garie at one point went out of her way to get things for Micha that she would hate, insisting to the others to leave it all up to her. In the meantime, she suggested Micha help Phara out in the kitchen with Christmas dinner. That year, Micha got a cornucopia of terrible gifts, most of which she couldn’t even use like men’s underwear; also the dinner was far more cut up than anyone expected.

Yet that didn’t work either. Micha demonstrated her Care Bears “it’s about family” sentiment that year which made the cynical Garie nearly tear her hair out in anger.

There’s one thing Garie knows would completely destroy Micha’s Christmas, and every Christmas after it, though.

“Santa Claus…” Garie murmurs to herself.

“You’d better not.” Phara overheard her while cooking. She motions towards the oven.

That’s right. The one thing that Garie wants more than anything else (in December) and it’s kept from her. Every year Phara bakes a particularly delicious cake, something that the others don’t particularly care for but Garie loves more than anything else. The threat of not baking that cake keeps Garie on her best behavior for the entire season.

“I’m not talking to you!” Garie tosses a magazine towards the kitchen and storms off. She heads to Leiur’s sister’s room and starts kicking railings to let off her steam. The ruckus wakes up the giant whose eye glances in Garie’s direction.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I disturb you?” Garie asks, taking a sickly sweet tone, turning sour afterwards, “Well you don’t know the half of it. Every year. Every damn year that stupid Micha runs all over the place, noise noise noise and… GAH! Big gal, you really have it easy. You don’t have to hear her stupid voice singing off-key.”

Leiur’s sister raises an eyebrow and looks up at her head. Garie notices a massive pair of fake antlers that had been put on the giant.

“Oh.” Garie steps back, “Well, I’ve still got it worse. You know the first day of the month she leapt on my bed in the middle of the night she was so excited? A whole month and she never lets up!” Garie punches one of the walls, “And yet the one thing that would give me the best Christmas, seeing her completely heartbroken, I can’t do because that means no more cake. Ever. I’ve lost count of the years I’ve put up with it now!”

Garie catches her breath, “I must stop her Christmas from coming…” Leiur’s sister waits, rolling one hand in a ‘go on’ motion. “I’m not going to rhyme, dummy.”

It’s obvious, Garie thinks, that if she can simply remove the leverage keeping her from telling Micha about Santa, everything else falls into place. Once she’s calmed down, Garie flips her inner switch and turns to her cutesy mode.

“Phaaaara,” she calls in a singsong, “I realized something, you know, I’ve been a real Grinch. I think from this year on I should change my ways. So, how about I help you cook Christmas dinner?”

“You are a real Grinch, Garie,” Phara says, “Your heart’s an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders; you’ve got garlic in your soul, Miss Garie.” Garie scowls, “I know exactly what you’re getting at, you know. You’re a hundred years too late to try and fool me.”

“Tch.”

“But if you’re being genuine, why don’t you help Leiur decorate the tree?”

Garie steps out of the kitchen and sees Leiur switching from pose to pose, tossing decorations onto the tree and twirling the lights wrapped from her leg all the way up her body to swing around the tree.

“I think she’s got it covered.” Garie says.

“In a flashy way?” Phara asks.

“Does she ever do _anything_ like a normal person?” While Garie speaks, she hears the door open and close and the sound of a familiar voice singing ‘Jingle Bells’. “I’m going out.”

“Where to?”

“ **Out.** ”

While she’s out, Garie feels her limbs start to slow down. She shivers a little, “Guess I should’ve filled up before I went out.” She sees a person dressed as Santa ringing a bell asking for donations and licks her lips, “A little snack won’t kill my appetite for cake.”

Once she’s done sucking face and memories, Garie’s shoulders drop when she realizes the obvious solution. “Oh, duh!”

That night, Garie slipped something into Phara’s drink to get her out like a light. The others tucked her in early and in the cover of darkness in the middle of the night, Garie sneaks into Phara’s room.

“Once I take that memory of yours, nothing’s stopping me from ruining Micha’s Christmas…” Garie leans in closer, but pauses a moment. She stands up straight to regain her composure and starts to lean in again.

“Your next line is, ‘This isn’t what it looks like.’” Leiur says, the door opened behind her.

“THIS ISN’T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!” Garie squeals reflexively, followed with a gasp.

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh, well…” Garie thought up a lie as quickly as possible, “I noticed we didn’t wash Phara’s face! She’s just sleeping there with her makeup on and I figured that should be taken off!” Leiur switches her pose while she tosses Garie a rag. Garie uses it to wipe off Phara’s makeup. Scowling, Garie understands that Leiur’s already caught on to that plan.

 

Christmas Eve arrives. Rather than trying something more complex, Garie goes to a more obvious and subtle solution. One that lets her get all the cake she wants without Phara knowing a single thing.

She sneaks into Phara’s room while the green sword breaker is out getting some of the important last-minute additions to the feast. Garie tosses Phara’s room upside-down and inside-out looking for a recipe book but finds nothing.

She tries the kitchen as well but again, nothing. She even tries looking in places might it might be hidden like the Micha Cupboard. By the time she’s ready to try and look in other rooms, Phara’s made it back home with armfuls of groceries and a stern expression.

“Oh. Hey.” Garie says, “Micha trashed the place she got too excited.”

Micha peeks her head out from behind Phara. She was out shopping with her.

“Guess I got caught red-handed.” Garie says with a shrug, “Better than being knife-handed. Tehepero.”

“Just so you know…” Phara’s tone is simultaneously apologetic and punishing, “I keep my most prized recipes in my head, and the Christmas Cake is one of my most prized recipes. Now clean this up.”

“Like h-“

“Girls on the naughty list don’t get cake.”

Garie grits her teeth and rolls up her sleeves to clean.

“Don’t worry, Garie!” Micha steps forward, “Micha will help you clean!” She tries to grab a rag to wet but cuts it. “Well, I can give moral support!”

“Girls who don’t do housework are on the naughty list, aren’t they?” Garie asks Phara smugly.

“Micha does help out more than you most of the time.” Phara points out, “Just that she has her own… Special sort of chores.”

After done cleaning, Garie falls onto her bed, exhausted from having to clear out both of the areas she tore apart with her bare hands.

“Aaah, every year is going to be even more unbearable. It’s like Micha gets more annoying as time goes on. If only that bitch wasn’t holding the cake hostage, I could finally get the only gift I’ve wanted by telling Mich-“ she stops. “Wait. Let’s see here. I can’t _tell_ Micha about Santa.”

Garie sits up, “But if she figures out on her own…” Garie starts to think, “And I think I got a bright idea on just how speed that process up…”

The one night of the year Micha goes to bed extra early is Christmas Eve, and she wakes up everyone in the house at the crack of dawn after that. That’s not going to happen this year. This year, Garie’s going to wake Micha up. As soon as Micha goes to bed, Leiur and Phara immediately move the rest of the presents (the “Santa” presents) from their hiding spot to under the tree.

In the dead of night, Garie sets everything up. First, a she yanks at Micha’s leg to cause a cramp that wakes her up. While Micha is still reeling in pain, an ornamental ball slides into her room through the door. Her curiosity gets the best of her and Micha steps out, wondering how an ornament could get from the living room all the way to her room. She makes it to the living room, illuminated by the light of the tree.

There, she finds a Bushi Noise in a Santa hat and a coat with a fake beard, ordered by Garie to start moving their presents around until Micha sees it and then stare at Micha.

“Santa’s a Noise?” Micha asks aloud. She smiles widely and rushes to hug the Bushi Noise which stands confused a few seconds before hugging Micha back. Even for a cold, emotionless monster like a Noise, the moment warms it down to its core. Which may or may not be related to Micha being a living furnace. “This is the best Christmas ever!”

“She’s too stupid to put the pieces together herself.” Garie says to herself, “Tomorrow is going to be the worst Christmas ever.”


End file.
